Before you say yes to that man and get married to him, make sure you are not going into a relationship with an abusive partner, and wife beater.
Are you one of the many women who are trapped in a relationship where an abusive partner has turned you into a punching bag. For most abused women, it is already too late to do anything about the ugly situation.
The estimation is that well over a million women in England and Wales are abused by their partners every year.
In India, almost half of all husbands admitted to having abused their wives in one way or another.
In Nigeria and other parts of Africa, although there are no reliable statistics, wife and girlfriend abuse is almost an epidemic.
While most women find good spouses who genuinely love them and would never stoop low to abuse them, many others have the misfortune of having husbands and partners who become abusive right from the onset.
But why can’t women help themselves by recognizing and extricating themselves from abusive men?
Some women argue that no sign showed their partners were going to be abusive. Other women try to make excuses that their man suddenly changed.
But alas! Abusive partners are like leopards: they will never change their spots. All you need is to be observant, and you’ll see all the signs.
But it is difficult for women to see these signs if they have ulterior motives. For example, if all a woman wants is a man with a fat bank account, then she’ll see nothing else.
The following are the danger signs of a man who is going to be an abusive partner.
They Abuse Other People.
Most women in abusive relationships make the mistake of ignoring abusive and violent behavior in a man just because they are not objects of the said abuse and violence.
If you are on a date and the man treats you like a queen but is rude and aggressive to the waiter and other people around, it’s a red flag. Don’t be fooled. It’s only a matter of time before he turns to you.
Therefore watch out for the way the man talks to other people, fellow drivers, etc.
An Abusive Partner is Insecure.
Women beaters are very insecure. Forget the outward appearance of confidence; batterers are always afraid of losing their wives or girlfriend, or position in the relationship.
The fear of being abandoned by a woman can lead some men to extreme rage and violence.
An Abusive Partner Wants to be in Control.
Abusive men love to be in control of their love ones. Unfortunately, most women are showered with love by these men, and they fail to see the danger.
When your man continually tells you what to wear, when to wear it, and how to wear them: beware!
Abusive partners are intimidated by successful women. So when your partner asks you to drop out of school, or quit a good job: run!
When your man is always calling and sending you messages to find out where you are and what you are doing: watch out!
Many women usually misconstrue these controlling behaviors as acts of love, attention, and care.
For abusive men, the desire to monitor, restrict, and control their partners can drive them to become violent.
There is a story of a lady who found out that the man she was going to marry was the controlling type. But she found out late on her wedding day, right inside the church, when they were walking down the aisle.
The husband had whispered to her to take a good look at the church and her folks, as that was the last time she would see them. The lady called off the wedding there and then. All the man’s pleas that it was a joke fell on deaf ears.
Most women would have continued with the wedding and tie themselves to a foul bargain because of what people will say.
They’re Jealous.
In a marriage or relationship, there is a thin line between jealousy and love. But jealousy is usually obsessive love, where the fear of losing the other, consumes a person.
An Abusive Partner is Always Quick to Apologize and Repent.
While abusive men are quick to hit their partners, they are even faster to show remorse and ask for forgiveness.
Abusive men have the sweetest tongues and can go the extra mile to apologize and make it up to you.
Almost every man who has ever hit a woman will do it again. Abusive men do not change, except they undergo therapy, or a miracle happens.
A man who has abused you at the beginning of a relationship is likely to do it again.
Wrapping it up.
There is always a progressive pattern to domestic abuse. Your ability to recognize and heed the warning signs can practically save your life.
The earlier you bolt from an abusive relationship, the better. The longer the victims of domestic abuse stay on in the union, the harder it becomes for them to leave.
At the early stages of abuse, the victims misinterpret the constant attention showered by the man as love.
This constant attention will eventually pick up steam and end in the man using threats and violence to control the victim.
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